I had a friendship end this past month and the “grieving” period has been pretty brutal. No statistical research has been done in order to create this list, but here are some things that I’ve found that help me and might help you through your stuff, too:
How to get over it (no matter what or rather who “it” is):
1. Allow at least one person to see your full crazy. If you keep everything bottled up, you’ll die. Pick one person, and tell him/her everything. An objective perspective is really helpful and sometimes when you explain the situation out loud it’s acts as a reality check for yourself. Choose someone that you trust and who has no desire (no matter how small) to ruin your life.
2. Never, ever, ever text the person that you’re trying to get over. I have found it completely impossible to keep this rule, however, it’s probably the most important one. A good trick, is to write all the crazy stuff you want to say in a text (ie. How could you? How dare you? Why are you doing this to me? Let’s talk? blah blah blah) And send it to someone like your mom. She’ll respond with “What?” or she’ll pocket dial you, and you’ll be too furious with your phone to keep using it.
3. Remember, if it’s your fault, you’re not as bad as all the evidence might say you are. People, you, me, everyone, make(s) mistakes. You aren’t your mistake. Maybe you consider it too big to be just called a mistake, the statement still holds true. Whatever bad thing you did, you’re not that. It will take a while to convince yourself of that, keep at it.
4. Keep taking care of yourself. If you like to work out, keep doing that. If you don’t drink, don’t start. Get sleep, shower, put on make up, eat well…usually I am a huge fan of allowing yourself to completely fall apart because when you feel bad it’s your right! But…it’s not good for you. Keeping the physical things together helps you keep the mental stuff together.
There’s a lot more that you can do, but these are the things that I’ve been trying. Leave additional suggestions in the comments, I’d love to read them!