Ask Angela Asks You: Forgiveness can make you weak

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Dear Angela,

I really disagree with your last post about forgiveness. I think that if you forgive people all of the time, they take advantage of you. I’m not a very religious person anymore but I can’t imagine a God who would want his children to be weak. Plus, how does this even work?

It’s one thing to forgive someone for eating your food or for missing an important event, but what about the big stuff? What about the guy who promises he’ll love you FOREVER and so you sleep with him, you introduce him to your family, you tell him all of your secrets and then BAM you find out he’s been with some other chick for the past 6 months?

What good does it do me to forgive him?  What I chose to do instead was cut him out of my life, and that brings me a lot of peace. I don’t see anything wrong with that. I’m not saying that you’re necessarily wrong, I’m just saying that I know I’m not wrong.

How can we both be right?

 Sincerely,

I “forgive” in my own way

 

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One thought on “Ask Angela Asks You: Forgiveness can make you weak

  1. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what he did was right. It means letting of the hatred you feel toward him. The hate and anger we feel towards those who do us wrong can eat at us, causing our own internal destruction.

    I was abused as a child and it took me years to forgive my abuser but I did. I can to understand that he was abused as a little child and was never taught that it wasn’t ok to continue to do to others, what someone else did to him. Obviously as he grew older he learned it wasn’t alright but by then the habit was established and hard to brake.
    I refuse to let his actions to define me and destory me from the inside as it has another of his victims. The only way I found I could do that was to forgive him. It doesn’t make what he did ok, but it means I choose to not let his actions reflect on me. I have found great peace within myself by doing this.

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