The loss of a loved one is an indescribable feeling. My heart goes out to you.
I had a dear friend in college who lost her brother to suicide when she was a teenager. I remember talking to her about it and asking “How do you ever get through something like that?” She simply said, “Time.”
I know from experience that there’s a lot more to it, but recognizing that it will take time is a great place to start. Time to grieve, time to heal, time to be angry…all of that. Maybe 18 months seems like a long stretch and there’s a voice inside of you saying “Come on, get over it already!” But I would do all that you can to just let yourself go at your own recovery speed.
You know the Plan of Happiness, you spent many months teaching about Eternal marriage, give those principles time to heal your heart and renew your strength.
After that, and when you’re ready…dating might start to feel a little more natural.
I hope this helps…at least a little.