Something I learned about listening, advice, and learning to be quiet

I made this mistake the other day: 

Person A: I feel like I’m never going to get married

Angela: Yes you will because blah blah blah, you just need to have faith and put yourself out there, if you feel like you can’t talk to guys than blah blah blah. I mean really Heavenly Father loves you and wants you to get married because blah baaaaablah talk talk talk scripture scripture talk, blaaah blahh angela’s voice blah blah

This is what I should have done

Person A: I feel like I’m never going to get married

Angela: Why do you feel that way?

Person A: because blah blah blah blah, guys don’t want to date me and blah blah I hate my ward

Angela: What type of people have you dated in the past?

Person A: Well I always go for people who are blah blah and those relationships don’t work and blah blah blah forever

And so on until Person A felt better…

This isn’t advice in the traditional sense, you’re not providing solutions necessarily, but you’re creating a therapeutic experience for the person that you love. Most people don’t need you to their stuff out, after all they are the expert on being them. But almost everyone needs to feel heard, cared for and understood. Listening and asking questions is the key to doing that.

(WARNING: There are some people who will take advantage of your willingness to listen to them…be prepared with a “Hey my phone is about to die” if necessary…JK)

tellmeeee

 

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