Now that my boyfriend and I are engaged, he doesn’t do anything special or romantic like he used to. I don’t want to be a nagging wife before we even get married but I don’t like where we’re headed. Where are the dates? Where are the surprises? How do I inspire him to treat me like his new girlfriend again?
Dear Hopeless Romantic,
OK, here’s what I would do: First I would make sure I didn’t have some weird idea in my mind that was tainting how I view our relationship. Meaning, have you been seeing really romantic things on FB recently that have you thinking, “Man, my BF doesn’t do anything like this for me anymore. I wish my life was just like Katie’s. My relationship is terrible, hers is perfect.” Etc., You know? Cause that happens. “Compare-itis” makes us think things are bad when really they are good or at least the same as they’ve always been.
If after that assessment you realize it’s a real thing, then do something romantic for your BF and tell him that you want to take turns planning fun/romantic dates for each other. I know it’s cool to have things happen spontaneously but relationships go through stages and it’s good to start clear communication early.