Dear Angela: I’m not an active member of the church of my youth and my brother is. Because of this fact my mom calls him more, brags about him more, and clearly favors him. Do they teach this parenting behavior at church? I doubt it! He may be the golden child, but I’m still her daughter and I matter, too. I wish I didn’t care, but I do – help?
Dear Baby Girl,
These are sad feelings and I’m sorry you’re having them.
You gotta stop comparing your relationships to other peoples relationships. Channel and transform that “I’m so bothered” energy into creating new a positive experiences with your mom. And even be deliberate about that, “Mom, I feel like because our belief systems are different we’re not as close as we could be. Would you be open to working on this with me?”
(Notice I didn’t add any like “you treat Joey better than me…you should be acting like a better Christian” in there because those are productive discussion topics.)
Family relationships are so worth the effort, hope this helps.
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